Playstation Plus/Xbox Live Games For Gold October Items Announced


Sony has announced the free items for Playstation Plus subscribers for October.

All of the games drop on September 1st and here are the items you’ll receive:

  • Rock Band 4 (PS4)
  •  Super Mario Maker Wii U Bundle (Wii U)
  • One of those curvy TVs (Your Living Room)
  • A Month’s Worth of Oreos (Your Mouth)

Microsoft has also announced the free items for Xbox Live Games for Gold for October:

  • PS4 Video Game Console (PS4)
  • Beijing 2008: The Official Video Game of the Olympic Games (Xbox 360)
  • A Month’s Worth of the Thin Oreos (Your Trash)

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‘Kim Davis’ DLC Coming Soon To Papers, Please


New DLC has been announced for the award winning game Papers, Please via the creator’s Twitter feed.

“Our new DLC pack ‘Kim Davis’ will be released soon,” tweeted Lucas Pope.

In a follow up post on his Facebook page, Pope gave a description of what the new DLC will be like:

Your job as county clerk is to control the type of people getting marriage licenses in Kentucky. Among the throngs of applicants looking to be married are gays and more gays. Using only the turned in applications and the the county’s gaydar systems you must decide who can get married and who will be cast away.

In yet another follow up post on his Tumblr account, Pope posted a picture of two cats getting married:

No word on a release date but look for a follow up post to Pope’s Instagram shortly.

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Playstation Plus/Xbox Live Games For Gold September Items Announced


Sony has announced the free items for Playstation Plus subscribers for September.

All of the games drop on September 1st and here are the items you’ll receive:

  • Fallout 4 (PS4)
  • Never Ending Stream of Puppies (Your Backyard)
  • Bottomless cup of coffee (Nearest Starbucks)
  • New Season of the Simpsons Written by John Swartzwelder (Your TV)

Microsoft has also announced the free items for Xbox Live Games for Gold for September:

  • No Game (Xbox One)
  • Beijing 2008: The Official Video Game of the Olympic Games (Xbox 360)
  • Memories of the First Time You Were Rejected by a Potential Sexual Partner (Your Brain)

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Nintendo Files Patent For Console With No Purchasers


Nintendo has filed a patent for a console that has no purchasers.

The patent shows a rough schematic of a console that, according to the patent filing’s abstract, “will not be purchased” by a videogames buying public.

The patent shows a console that no one would ever want to buy, and further cites “a little poking needle,” in the controller that pokes players if they try to play the console. The patent says it will allow retail stores “to buy the console in an attempt to sell,” but that customers will refuse due to “horrible ideas.”

The language in the patent could signify that Nintendo is bracing for a customer-less future but it doesn’t rule out the possibility of a new way to play games. While the console in the patent doesn’t include purchasers, it does mention a torture aspect not seen in games since the Virtual Boy. The patent states, “there is a possibility of consumers wanting to feel the pain of owning a new Nintendo console, provided that it has new experiences and at least one Mario and Zelda game.”

In June, Nintendo said it was intentionally keeping quiet about the new console due to concerns that competitors would keep on doing whatever they are doing anyways.


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Capcom Announces Delay For New Street Fighter V News Announcement


Last week, Capcom announced that there would be a special announcement about Street Fighter V this week but according to a new announcement from Capcom that special announcement will be delayed.

Veteran producer Yoshinori Ono said on Twitter that Capcom would be making the announcement at PAX Prime this coming weekend, even though he wouldn’t be there himself.

“Unfortunately, I have to wash my hair that weekend,” Ono said. “However we really have some great excitement announcement for SFV! I have announcement excitement!”

According to a new tweet from Capcom, fans are going to have to wait for this new announcement.

“Unfortunately, we have to delay our exciting SFV announcement,” said the Capcom Twitter account. “We very much apologize for those of you who have been sitting by your Twitter feeds waiting for the news.”

“We will be making another extra special announcement shortly about when the regular special announcement will be announced,” the account added.

According to Capcom insiders, the delay was caused by a shampooing error on Ono’s part which resulted in his hair changing color and a glowing red aura surrounding his body. Neither Capcom nor Ono have confirmed this rumor but they haven’t not confirmed it either so it’s all up in the air, really.

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ESL Bans ‘Maxin’ And Relaxin” During eSports Tournaments


ESL, the popular eSport League, has announced that is will ban its players from “maxin’ and relaxin'” during tournaments.

ESL is using a list of prohibited chillouts provided by the World Anti-Coping Agency for its new test procedures. That list includes:


ESL say in its announcement that “maxin’ and relaxin’ outside (before) the event days will not be punished. Chillin’ or coolin’ during the tournament—from the start of the first day until the end of the last day of competition—is strictly prohibited. Players are also permitted to vibe after the event but, again, all chillouts must not occur during competition.”

Starting with the upcoming ESL Cologne event on August 22, ESL will be conducting randomized stress tests among all competitors throughout the tournament (previous plans for bean bag tests were determined to not be as good a fit for the event). Stress tests generally only detect very recent chilling according to some reports—so they shouldn’t register any false positives for someone who last maxed at home or at a bro’s place.

Maxin’ and relaxin’ prescriptions can still be used during ESL events, but only with a signed mixtape from a DJ or physician and it has to be listened to before the tournament starts.

Players found violating the new chillout policy can be banned from ESL events for up to two years and have their mellows harshed for at least a week.

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